I made the mistake of going grocery shopping at Macey's at about 7 pm on Friday. I naively thought that the store would be more deserted on a weekend evening. Yeah, I'm sometimes that dumb.
The store was packed. They were hosting some sort of tailgate party for the BYU game, plus it was the case lot sale, plus there were dozens of families there for cheap ice cream cones in the deli. I very nearly turned around and left when I realized how crowded it was, but I hadn't been to the store in over a week and we only had about a half cup of milk in the house. I decided just to take my time and do what needed to be done.
I ended up having a delightful experience. I got my own cheap ice cream cone and wandered around the store eavesdropping as I shopped. I learned a few new things.
I am not making any of this up.
From the two teenage boy checkers who s-l-o-w-l-y checked out my case goods during the breaks in their conversation:
"Dude you totally need to get out of the virgin lip club."
"Yeah, I know. It's so weird though, cuz like it's a good thing for boys to get out of the club, but girls are supposed to stay in the club. It's like they don't want to get out. When boys get out they have a party with their friends."
"My seminary teacher said it's good to kiss. We're supposed to."
What the heck?
From the two college girls wandering around the produce section:
"I don't want pesticides on my food. I like might grow another leg or something."
Huh? (These same girls were later complaining that they had to buy an entire bunch of celery when they only needed two stalks. Heaven forbid they eat extra celery!)
And from the disembodied voices of two employees chatting on the other side of the dairy case:
"The people in Guatemala don't know anything about Walmart. I asked them and they were like, 'What's that?'"
Seriously? You asked them all?
I think I'm going to shop at night more often.
8 comments:
Those are hilarious conversations you overheard! You know, it could be a cheap and entertaining date to once and awhile hang out at Macey's on a Friday night! You could eat ice cream cones and marvel at the randomness of humanity! ;)
Thanks for sharing. I just got back from Maceys. I should have listened more carefully to what was being said around me, but usually I'm just trying to get in and out as fast as possible.
I overheard a girl on campus today tell her friend "It looks like I peed on myself." I really don't want to know why people would think that. Ha ha!
Thanks for the laugh- there are certainly times when it is fascinating to hear what goes on in other people's heads. It doesn't really seem that anyone was talking about anything particularly important- surely people listening into my conversations would have a big question mark on their faces as well!
Maybe I need to listen more closely from now on, and put some fun into my shopping. I have never hated shopping as much as I have lately. I could write a novel as to why. Don't get me started...
I sometimes wonder what the homeless guys who hang out at Smiths after midnight talk about. The employees seem to have gotten used to them.
Working graveyard at a 24 hour grocery store would really suck, but I'll bet you'd run into some interesting, crazy people.
I laughed so hard while reading this. Especially the one about the virgin lip club.
Thanks for sharing!
We eavesdrop on dates. How sad is that?
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