So. . .I think it's clear that I'm not really a "blogger" anymore and I've been thinking quite a bit about why that is. I haven't exactly pinpointed what changes in my life over the past few years have strangled my bloggy mind but I have several working theories.
For one thing, this blog has never been your typical Mormon Mommy Blog. I'm just not that kind of mom. I'm not creative or cutesy or organized. I don't plan adorable parties and festive play dates or weekly outings to fascinating places--and even if I did no one would ever know about it because I always forget to take pictures.This isn't my journal or weekly family newsletter to update the world on all of my happenings and provident living. This blog has never really been about me sharing what I do it's more about having a place to express what I think. Perhaps I'm just not thinking as much as I used to.
For another thing, I use Facebook now and I didn't back when I started blogging. The random ideas that I used to send out into cyberspace via this blog are now expressed more frequently and more concisely as status updates on Facebook. And I have found that the payoff is much more instantaneous. I can compose a post in just a few seconds and then spend the rest of the day getting told how clever I am or how cute my toddler is. But overall it tends to be a lot less satisfying. At times status updates end up feeling like nothing more than thesis statements to essays I could compose but never have the energy to actually write. A blog post requires more thought and more time and while I know for certain I have less spare time than I used to, I've unfortunately started to realize I have a lot less blog worthy thoughts too. That makes me sad.
I'm starting to worry that in this modern age of texts and quick updates that my thinking is getting too fragmented. That having high speed connections to everything in the world is somehow slowing my ability to think clearly. . .or maybe I'm just getting old. :)
I'm not giving up on my blog completely. I hope to be able to think longer thoughts again someday.
And when I do, I look forward to sharing them here.
