Foodaholic

Hello. My name is Sarah and I'm a foodaholic.

Seriously. I think I have a problem. You wouldn't know by looking at me because I'm blessed with the world's best metabolism, but I'm a raging junk food junkie. It's like I'm a real life Lorelai Gilmore. And it goes back many many years. I hate to think about how much money I fed into the high school vending machine (sorry mom!). I recall rewarding myself with Symphony Almond and Toffee chocolate bars almost daily during college. And the M&Ms, french fries and soda I've consumed over my lifetime. . .OH THE HUMANITY!

There has always been a disturbing disconnect between what I know about proper eating and what I actually do. I find food science fascinating and have read numerous books and articles on the subject. But despite all that I know I can't keep snacky urges in check. This afternoon I read an article describing how for some people the dopamine in the brain that is set off by the consumption of fatty foods is similar to the levels found when taking illicit drugs.

Um . ..I think that would be me.

I think what is really becoming obvious, and is therefore totally starting to bug me, is the fact that at times I even act like an addict when it comes to junk food.

On Saturday nights I make sure there is enough soda in the house to get me through Sunday. If there's not, I find an excuse to run to the store or at least check to see if we have limeade in the freezer so that I can get my sweet drink fix.

I hide treats from my family. I tell myself that it's for their own good--you know, the Army requires hubby to be fit and the kids' brains are still developing etc. etc.--but really I just don't want to share.

I love to make cookies and I do it all the time. But I'm a Mormon woman. That's what we do, right? We bake cookies and call it fellowshipping. Most of the time I start out with the intention of giving them away to the neighbors or to my visiting teaching sisters, but more often than not we eat them all before they even make it off the cooling rack.

I always make sure I have at least $1.07 on me at all times so I can stop and get a value menu Jr. Bacon Cheese Burger (or Whopper Jr or McDouble) if the urge comes upon me. And if I were to be totally honest this happens several times a week, although I don't always indulge (I can't if the kids are with me!).

I could go on, but I'll stop because it's embarrassing me.

I had a disturbing addict moment the other day that is still bugging me. I was sitting in McDonald's with my dollar cheese burger and large soda and happened to notice a friend of mine come in with two of her kids. This friend is classy and intelligent and European so to see her in McDonald's, ordering from the dollar menu, totally made me feel better--and I told her so. She probably thought I was nuts. Later as I thought about it I came to the startling realization that I was feeling GUILTY for being there and that seeing her there too somehow justified it in my own mind.

Doesn't that seem just a bit twisted to you?

I'd really like to close this post with some kind of resolve to swear off sugar, eat only leafy greens and banish empty calorie drinks. But I'm not ready to do that, although I'll let you know when I am. Knowing you have a problem is half the battle, right? (Yeah, the easy half, I know.)

I'm going to go make a pizza now, perhaps I'll throw some green peppers on there to make it healthy!

Age of Innocence

This is my sweet daughter. She is in the funnest stage right now. She has always been super chatty(at least at home)but now she really has something to say and conversations with her are rather entertaining. In some ways she seems wise beyond her years, yet at times I am reminded just how young and innocent she is.

Yesterday we were having a conversation about relationships and she said,"I've never heard you and daddy fight and yell at each other." I responded,"You're right. Dad and I don't yell at each other but that doesn't mean we always agree on everything." She said, "Yeah, like Dad likes to eat cold honey butter on warm bread and you like both to be warm."

If that's her best recollection of us disagreeing than we must be doing something right!(or at least hiding things really well!)

She also recently asked me what an X-rated movie was. (Where she ever heard the term I'll never know.) I explained that it's a movie that is full of "a lot of bad stuff." She said, "Oh do the people say bad words and wear immodest clothes?"

Yeah, immodest clothes. That's it.

I've just been thinking about how pure she is--totally unspotted from the world. She's not even accountable yet. I often joke that she acts like a teenager already with her karaoke machine and sassy fashion sense, but she is still very much a little girl who likes to play with dolls and have tea parties. A little girl whose view of life is so hopeful and uncomplicated.

How do I help her hang on to that innocence as she heads into the approaching years? How do I shelter her without being overprotective? The world of her teenage years will be so different than mine was.

Actually, I think I know what I need to do. I just pray that I'm up to the challenge.

Random Complaining

I used to consider myself a fairly optimistic upbeat kind of person but I think the older I get the more critical I have become and the more annoyed I am with silly things. Here are just a few ridiculous complaints I have recently made.

I find it dumb that two of the three judges on America's Got Talent aren't even Americans, and the third judge is David Hasslehoff who is himself devoid of talent. So all three judges are totally unqualified. Which I suppose would explain why a yodeling dominatrix and a dance troupe of transvestites made the quarter finals and the girl who could sing while playing the harp was axed.

I resent all of the coupons and "helpful" information sent to me on an almost daily basis from the baby formula companies. I think what bugs me is that they profess to be pro-breastfeeding--giving nursing tips and hailing the virtues of breast milk--even though everyone knows they don't want mothers to breastfeed at all! They just want to be top of mind should you decide to ween. Baby formula is big business. I find their marketing a bit sinister. So just give me my free diaper bag and leave me alone! :)

And what's with shutting down the grocery store that is just three blocks from my house?! Granted that store was kind of old and more than a little creepy, but it was familiar and convenient and I had come to depend on it. Of course, there are about five other places to shop within ten minutes of my house, but not being able to quickly run grab that one missing item for a recipe or leave to return redbox movies at 8:52 pm is starting to really bug me!

OK, enough griping. I'll be more positive next time I post I promise!