So. . .I think it's clear that I'm not really a "blogger" anymore and I've been thinking quite a bit about why that is. I haven't exactly pinpointed what changes in my life over the past few years have strangled my bloggy mind but I have several working theories.
For one thing, this blog has never been your typical Mormon Mommy Blog. I'm just not that kind of mom. I'm not creative or cutesy or organized. I don't plan adorable parties and festive play dates or weekly outings to fascinating places--and even if I did no one would ever know about it because I always forget to take pictures.This isn't my journal or weekly family newsletter to update the world on all of my happenings and provident living. This blog has never really been about me sharing what I do it's more about having a place to express what I think. Perhaps I'm just not thinking as much as I used to.
For another thing, I use Facebook now and I didn't back when I started blogging. The random ideas that I used to send out into cyberspace via this blog are now expressed more frequently and more concisely as status updates on Facebook. And I have found that the payoff is much more instantaneous. I can compose a post in just a few seconds and then spend the rest of the day getting told how clever I am or how cute my toddler is. But overall it tends to be a lot less satisfying. At times status updates end up feeling like nothing more than thesis statements to essays I could compose but never have the energy to actually write. A blog post requires more thought and more time and while I know for certain I have less spare time than I used to, I've unfortunately started to realize I have a lot less blog worthy thoughts too. That makes me sad.
I'm starting to worry that in this modern age of texts and quick updates that my thinking is getting too fragmented. That having high speed connections to everything in the world is somehow slowing my ability to think clearly. . .or maybe I'm just getting old. :)
I'm not giving up on my blog completely. I hope to be able to think longer thoughts again someday.
And when I do, I look forward to sharing them here.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Rethinking the New Year
Every January I have high hopes regarding New Years resolutions. ("THIS will be the year I go all Fly Lady and finally get control of the house." "THIS will be the year I eat only unprocessed whole foods." Etc. Etc. Etc.)
And those resolves seem to last a few days, maybe a few weeks if I'm lucky, and then I spend the rest of the month of January feeling like a failure. I eventually give up and hope for better luck next year.
Such has been the case this year. I set out a few weeks ago to start eating better, yet I'm sipping Cherry Coke as I write this. I had hoped to conquer the laundry by doing one load every day so I wouldn't get behind, but somehow things got away from me and earlier this week while grocery shopping at Walmart I actually bought my son a bag of new socks and a fresh pair of pants so that I could avoid the laundry for one more day. I want to spend more time blogging and less time on facebook, but the month is more than half done and this is my first blog attempt(and to be totally honest, I've clicked over to facebook at least four times tonight just since I started writing this post!)
Sometimes I feel like I'm hopeless.
But I had a conversation today with my husband that put all of this New Year's Resolution business into perspective.
He pointed out that January is the worst possible time of year for me to engage in life altering changes.
I hate winter--like with a passion. I can't stand the cold and the dark and the monotony of it all. Despite all of my lofty desires to overhaul my diet it seems I am emotionally predisposed to want comfort food during this time of year. I can guilt myself into clean eating for a little while but eventually I cave because my cold tired soul just really wants a big bowl of my famous creamy chicken soup made with heavy cream and good old white rice. I've tried multiple times to cut "the social network" out of my life but when I'm feeling stuck in my house and isolated from other people I like to connect with friends and remember I'm not alone in the world. And try as I might, it's tough for me to alter my daily routine when we're already half way through the school year and set in a groove.
I'm pretty sure I suffer from some form of seasonal depression--I'm certain of this diagnosis because the Internet told me so :). I think I will always struggle to be my best self at a time of year when I'm usually just trying to make it through each day.
But that doesn't mean that it is never within my grasp to make a change. This morning as I knelt down with my children to have family prayer before everyone left for school I remembered that there was a time in my life when establishing just such a habit was at the top of my resolution list. It didn't become a regular habit for us until we made it part of our daily routine at the beginning of the school year.
And I had an epiphany: I will always be better off if I remember that the start of the "new year" is the third week of August and I should just leave January alone!
And those resolves seem to last a few days, maybe a few weeks if I'm lucky, and then I spend the rest of the month of January feeling like a failure. I eventually give up and hope for better luck next year.
Such has been the case this year. I set out a few weeks ago to start eating better, yet I'm sipping Cherry Coke as I write this. I had hoped to conquer the laundry by doing one load every day so I wouldn't get behind, but somehow things got away from me and earlier this week while grocery shopping at Walmart I actually bought my son a bag of new socks and a fresh pair of pants so that I could avoid the laundry for one more day. I want to spend more time blogging and less time on facebook, but the month is more than half done and this is my first blog attempt(and to be totally honest, I've clicked over to facebook at least four times tonight just since I started writing this post!)
Sometimes I feel like I'm hopeless.
But I had a conversation today with my husband that put all of this New Year's Resolution business into perspective.
He pointed out that January is the worst possible time of year for me to engage in life altering changes.
I hate winter--like with a passion. I can't stand the cold and the dark and the monotony of it all. Despite all of my lofty desires to overhaul my diet it seems I am emotionally predisposed to want comfort food during this time of year. I can guilt myself into clean eating for a little while but eventually I cave because my cold tired soul just really wants a big bowl of my famous creamy chicken soup made with heavy cream and good old white rice. I've tried multiple times to cut "the social network" out of my life but when I'm feeling stuck in my house and isolated from other people I like to connect with friends and remember I'm not alone in the world. And try as I might, it's tough for me to alter my daily routine when we're already half way through the school year and set in a groove.
I'm pretty sure I suffer from some form of seasonal depression--I'm certain of this diagnosis because the Internet told me so :). I think I will always struggle to be my best self at a time of year when I'm usually just trying to make it through each day.
But that doesn't mean that it is never within my grasp to make a change. This morning as I knelt down with my children to have family prayer before everyone left for school I remembered that there was a time in my life when establishing just such a habit was at the top of my resolution list. It didn't become a regular habit for us until we made it part of our daily routine at the beginning of the school year.
And I had an epiphany: I will always be better off if I remember that the start of the "new year" is the third week of August and I should just leave January alone!
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