Foodaholic

Hello. My name is Sarah and I'm a foodaholic.

Seriously. I think I have a problem. You wouldn't know by looking at me because I'm blessed with the world's best metabolism, but I'm a raging junk food junkie. It's like I'm a real life Lorelai Gilmore. And it goes back many many years. I hate to think about how much money I fed into the high school vending machine (sorry mom!). I recall rewarding myself with Symphony Almond and Toffee chocolate bars almost daily during college. And the M&Ms, french fries and soda I've consumed over my lifetime. . .OH THE HUMANITY!

There has always been a disturbing disconnect between what I know about proper eating and what I actually do. I find food science fascinating and have read numerous books and articles on the subject. But despite all that I know I can't keep snacky urges in check. This afternoon I read an article describing how for some people the dopamine in the brain that is set off by the consumption of fatty foods is similar to the levels found when taking illicit drugs.

Um . ..I think that would be me.

I think what is really becoming obvious, and is therefore totally starting to bug me, is the fact that at times I even act like an addict when it comes to junk food.

On Saturday nights I make sure there is enough soda in the house to get me through Sunday. If there's not, I find an excuse to run to the store or at least check to see if we have limeade in the freezer so that I can get my sweet drink fix.

I hide treats from my family. I tell myself that it's for their own good--you know, the Army requires hubby to be fit and the kids' brains are still developing etc. etc.--but really I just don't want to share.

I love to make cookies and I do it all the time. But I'm a Mormon woman. That's what we do, right? We bake cookies and call it fellowshipping. Most of the time I start out with the intention of giving them away to the neighbors or to my visiting teaching sisters, but more often than not we eat them all before they even make it off the cooling rack.

I always make sure I have at least $1.07 on me at all times so I can stop and get a value menu Jr. Bacon Cheese Burger (or Whopper Jr or McDouble) if the urge comes upon me. And if I were to be totally honest this happens several times a week, although I don't always indulge (I can't if the kids are with me!).

I could go on, but I'll stop because it's embarrassing me.

I had a disturbing addict moment the other day that is still bugging me. I was sitting in McDonald's with my dollar cheese burger and large soda and happened to notice a friend of mine come in with two of her kids. This friend is classy and intelligent and European so to see her in McDonald's, ordering from the dollar menu, totally made me feel better--and I told her so. She probably thought I was nuts. Later as I thought about it I came to the startling realization that I was feeling GUILTY for being there and that seeing her there too somehow justified it in my own mind.

Doesn't that seem just a bit twisted to you?

I'd really like to close this post with some kind of resolve to swear off sugar, eat only leafy greens and banish empty calorie drinks. But I'm not ready to do that, although I'll let you know when I am. Knowing you have a problem is half the battle, right? (Yeah, the easy half, I know.)

I'm going to go make a pizza now, perhaps I'll throw some green peppers on there to make it healthy!